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I believe marriage and long term relationships are governed by two counterbalancing forces. Moral values dictate what is acceptable and unacceptable in the culture in whence we live. Nature governs our sexual desires. The goal becomes meeting our sexual desires in a manner acceptable in our culture.
Today, it is not uncommon to hear of incidents where meeting sexual desires triumphed commonsense. Presidential candidate John Edwards impregnated a baby mama while this terminal ill wife is dying of cancer. Although we believe Edward’s sin is unconscionable, we might see it a bit less onerous from the point of view of nature where procreation is very important.
What I am driving at is if you are attempting to exploit sex as a marital or relationship weapon or the grim-reaper is winning the life and death struggle with you, then you want to prepare yourself for the natural sexual urges of your spouse or significant other to cloud her or his judgment. High risk spousal tomfoolery may become the new paradigm where commonsense becomes a marital casualty. Flirting with celibacy in any form in a marriage or long term relationship is advertising to your would-be competitors that your mate is available because he or she will radiate their horniness in public.
What is very troublesome today is the above scenario is getting easier to make happen with the power of Internet social networking and dating sites like Match.com. This new technology can bring together people living a world apart, so it is not only the person down the street or at the office of whom you must be concerned.
Bottom line is that nature is not kind when it comes to marital fidelity. Sicknesses may be beyond your control but having an inflated value of your looks or underestimating your mate’s attractiveness may be the death knell of your happy home. There are other people more than willing to cure their loneliness problem with your spouse for nature demands that they alter their standards for your love one can satisfy their sexual urges.
