Hiding Sexual Preferences Is Marital Deceit

I was speechless when I got the word that she came home one day to find her husband and father of their daughter dressed up in her clothes as a drag queen.

Eh, that part's not so bad. Transvestite doesn't equal homosexual.

My initial reaction was to write off this story as gossip. Then I heard the husband wanted a sex change operation to become a female.

All right that part is, however there's not enough information (in the seed anyway) to determine if the husband knew before the marriage or was under the impression his feelings of being "trapped in the wrong body" would disappear if he got married.

Sadly, it's a common self-denial that somehow heterosexual acts or marriage is a "cure" for homosexual orientation. And yes, it's tragic that someone - anyone - feels their sexual preference for other adults is somehow deviant or wrong. It just is.

I then heard that the husband had gone through the sex change operation leaving this scientist devastated. Suddenly, her child had two mothers suggesting that this scientist had a public relations nightmare on her hands.

And that's the most damning part. Why the hell should it matter to anyone but the couple involved what their sexual orientation (or in this case, reassignment) is? It should be as irrelevant as hair or skin color.

Thus our worst enemies might be thinking with our sex organs, fearing loneliness, and seeking upward mobility even though our gut instinct said there is something immoral underway.

I truly hope you're not calling homosexuality immoral but are referring to the deception.

The worst case scenario is that we find ourselves in a hallucination where we become blinded to the real world surrounding us. What would you do if your spouse or mate shares that he or she is homosexual?

Divorce, because I'm not. I couldn't share a bed with a same-sex partner. It's not in my wiring.

I live with the hope that other people's sexual orientation - so long as it's directed to other adults and not children - become wholly irrelevant as a topic of concern.

I'm starting to see this more with each passing generation coming of age, but it's nowhere near close to having rabid anti-gay sentiments seems similarly as most of the USA sees White Supremacists - insufferable and dangerous colts who can't seem to come to grips with the fact that they're the aberration now.

An anecdote is not very helpful. First off, what difference would it have made if the woman had come home to find her husband in the sack with another woman?--a much more common situation. Moreover, you should be aware that in many cases these folks have so suppressed their desires (in a society that punishes non-comformity in a myriad of ways, legally, socially and economically) that they do not even know themselves fully when they try to do the "normal" thing and marry someone of the opposite sex. Perhaps McGreevy knew he was gay, but a high profile example should not be used to tar everyone who has found they made a mistake in life by getting married.

I think, sir, that you have taken an issue that is very grey and made it very black and white. I was married for 13 years to the father of my son. After we divorced, I came to understand, as the result of several events in my life, that I am a lesbian. Was I deceiving my husband, no. While we were married, I had not realized the real reason our relationship was not working very well. I feel for your friend, but would also say that not all drag queens want to be women. Perhaps a bit of research might help in this situation. :)

It seems the more common event is a man or woman that wants to go both ways. It's not exactly rare the story of the married guy caught sucking another man at the reststop. I'm not so sure that all these guys want to be gay and are just hiding it. I think they just want both.

Having both in a marriage is hard. Most spouses are not down with their mate having sex with others, even if it's a kind of sex you can't provide. I'm not growing a vagina for my wife's pleasure. That would not mean I would be ok with her having a relationship with another woman.

Hiding Sexual Preferences Is Marital Deceit

Maybe people wouldn't have to hide their preferences, even from their loved ones, if being gay wasn't treated like you have a disease or committed cold-blooded murder.

I do not have a problem with people desiring to live the homosexual life style

First clue the writer has no clue what he's talking about. He paints homosexuality as a choice and something that can be taught and learned when it's the exact opposite.

Then I heard the husband wanted a sex change operation to become a female.

Clue #2. Not all people who want sex changes are gay and not all people who dress in drag are gay. There's a big difference between someone who dresses as the opposite sex and someone who wants to become the opposite sex.

Also, having a sex change isn't about being gay or straight. A person gets a sex change because they usually feel they were born in the wrong body and they want to change that.

For a so-called "doctor", you don't know much about anything. This article is bogus.

I agree this sort of deception is totally wrong and immoral. I also realize that many people don't realize their true nature, they are in denial or maybe think that marriage will right whatever is wrong. A few years back, I read a book about sex change... the author's husband got a sex change.. He's realized for years he was a woman trapped in a man's body..He knew it before he got married.. I think that was wrong.. his wife was very supportive at first.. and stayed married to him.. and they continued to have some semblance of a sexual relationship while he was going thru the transition..I wonder how common this really is.. believe it or not, in the last 2 yrs.. 2 of my husband's female cousins got divorced because their husbands left them for men.. and one of these husbands was a cop.. and the other was a very macho looking, tatooed, coarse, crass person.. and a real jerk to boot... I guess you just never know..