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When we promised to love and honor our spouses until death do us apart during the marriage ceremony we are suggesting that our spouse’s wisdom is a treasure in our future. Her or his feelings on issues matter a great deal meaning we may not move forward without her or his blessing. Yet marital recalcitrance that may emanate from our being trapped in an emotionally blinded state where we cannot discern nagging from sound advice can become a deadly nightmare in ending our marriage.
I chatted with a middle age chap who shared that his wife stayed on him about keeping up his health. He and I were on health walks when stopped to chat with a mutual friend along our path. This chap had had a brush with death. We both came to the conclusion that having wives guarding over us was a godsend.
On the other hand, a senior citizen lady shared how she lost her husband to lung cancer many years back because she could not get him to change his lifestyle once this deadly disease was found. Her tannish colored face turned pale with a distant look in her eyes as she recounted her futile effort to get her husband to change. The husband had worked in the mushroom industry where he inhaled a lot of dust.
This senior citizen’s story helped me to discern the difference between spousal nagging and spousal concern. If you know that you are about to make a life and death decision with your health, you want to remember that two heads are better than one. It behooves you to listen to your spouse’s input. Also you want to be mindful that you may be unable to make decisions on yourself meaning that the last thing you want in a health crisis is a bimbo or gigolo for a spouse.
You also want to be mindful that your spouse’s understanding of the gravity of the crisis may come over as nagging if he or she legitimately is concerned for your wellbeing. You want your spouse cool while making decisions but emotional when keeping you on the straight and narrow.
