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When I ponder the mythical character MA Dear in the movies I find it an honor to have known real women who were or are the embodiment of the African American Matriarch.
The first lady I met approximately 47 years ago on a cotton farm in Mississippi. She was the mother of eleven grown children, one of which was the mother of my wife Gwynelle. Everyone called her “Grand MA Dear.”
My wife often shared stories of spending summers in Mississippi under the guidance of Grand MA Dear. Like how her brother, Junior, climbed a forbidden tree, got bee stung but Grand MA Dear nursed his pain but tanned his butt for disobedience.
My wife’s mother was called, “MA Dear.” She was the nicest woman you ever wanted to meet. MA Dear never had a bad word for anyone. She would puzzle me when it was obvious at her disdain over a situation with the statement “he is a nice child but just plain low down.”
Her husband died leaving her to raise eleven children with the oldest being just 16 on a cotton farm in Alabama. Hence, MA Dear kept her eyes on the educational objectives for her children. She raised these children as a single parent. All of them have varying degrees of college education.
However, it was interesting to hear our youngest son Sherman II, roughly five years old at the time, commenting after MA Dear had chastised him and his first cousin. Sherman said, “The Grandmother said we must stop chasing those chickens!”
MA Dear was a church lady with strong moral values that pervaded her children. She taught her daughters how to find and keep husbands. The married daughters have all been with their husbands over 25 years.
There has been only one female divorce and one never married. There has been one male divorce in three sons. This family stability attests to MA Dear’s influence living on many years after her death.
I got to meet another MA Dear in Wilmington, DE through a senior center. She is a very delightful person with whom to chat. She lost husbands to the grim-reaper.
You get to see her family pay homage to this Wilmington MA Dear’s leadership at the annual family reunion. There is excellent soul and traditional picnic food replete with music. This activity takes place at the Longshoremen Hall in Wilmington, DE that is in the heart of the African American community.
There are always double deck pinochle games underway where bragging rights are on the line. The Wilmington MA Dear floats through the crowd much of the time, so things never get out of hand. I love to go to her family outings, so in 2010 she made my wife Gwynelle and I honorary family members. The Wilmington MA Dear is my standard of excellence for large family outings in the black community.
I am honored to know that MA Dear is alive and well today. I look forward to many African American children getting to meet and learn from MA Dears all across the United States of America. MA Dear has been educated also by the University of Hard Knocks, so although you have your many university degrees she has a lot to teach you about life.
