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As gay marriage inches toward legitimacy across the United States of America, though viewed as a sin by some conservatives, we find ourselves in a conundrum aggressively moving to take children from their parents in openly polygamous relationships but allowing adoptions by openly gay couples.
A Catholic senior citizen couple, who are married 32 years, gave me an ear full against gay marriage when we chatted at Concord Mall in Metropolitan Wilmington, DE. Their bottom-line is same sex marriage is against nature. The thought of same-sex couples adopting a child was totally out the realm of sane public policy in this husband and wife view. The Husband is Italian and the wife Irish; however, they were quite proud of their biracial grandson with an Italian surname.
Polygamy dates back thousands of years to Biblical times, so we know its long term effects on the intra family workings. Today, the US is confronted with a new de facto polygamy where there is no marital commitment. This modern US tolerated polygamy has added two phrases to the lexicon: “baby mama” and “baby daddy.” It can be appreciated by the story of a caller into the syndicated Michael Baisden radio music and talk show on WDAS in Philadelphia, PA.
Yesterday, a caller confessed that he got caught using Facebook to have an online affair. This caller claimed that he dropped his Facebook account because of this tomfoolery. His confession then escalated to a whole new level when he revealed that he had nine children by seven baby mamas.
George Wilborn, Baisden second banana, asked this player to name all of his children. This baby daddy struggled to name all of his children. His plight suggested that he may not have a great deal of contact with these children. There was doubt that he may not have given nine distinct children names.
A holistic look at this baby daddy’s tale suggests that the baby mamas had to accept that de facto polygamy (man sharing) was tolerable, since seven of them elected to mother his children. This tale suggests that the player is making marriage obsolete, since he abhors responsibility. Let us also be mindful that there are baby mamas with multiple baby daddies.
It is clear that the old shotgun wedding, where the man steps up to the plate and marries the woman carrying his child, might be something today’s ladies hoping to entrap a man will find as an illusion of grandeur. These love starved women may find themselves in the ranks of the single parents while their children are growing up. A comment from the Baisden show, “If you can get the milk free, why buy the cow” suggests that marriage is a mirage for many baby mamas.
There are many questions that need to be answered about the sexual abuse of under aged girls who are forced into marrying older men and bigamy within the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Nonetheless, the Plain Jane women polygamous wives appear to be satisfied with their lifestyle. It appeared that the children interacted with their fathers. I do not recall anyone using the expressions of baby mama and baby daddy to describe these polygamous people’s lifestyle.
We may be quick to vilify these polygamous people as wayward religious sects. This purportedly allowed someone to make a false telephone report against the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that emboldened the Texas state officials to separate mothers from their children in effect declaring these women unfit mothers.
When you ponder the legal tribulations of the male members the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints you might get enchanted into viewing that the children in these plural marriages will be misfits. On the other hand, one of the most respected world leaders today, Former South African President Nelson Mandela, is a child of a polygamous marriage arrangement. His father had multiple wives. It is very interesting to hear Mandela tell of his childhood and his father summoning his wives when the Angel of Death took his life.
I feel it is dishonest to legalize gay marriage while sweeping polygamous marriage under the rug because de facto polygamy has spawn the age of the player who has no concept of marital and parental responsibility. Perhaps common-law marriage should automatically morph into legal marriage (polygamous) where married and single men cohabitate with women many years with no intentions of marriage.
If a couple lives together for five or more years, then marriages should be automatic. This proposal might deal with the plight of a scorn female who called the Baisden show to advise another woman about moving on after a love relationship fell apart. This scorn woman said she cohabitated with a man for 20 years. She had five children for him. He then decided to get married. The marriage lasted I believe she said only three years.
Are we saying that same-sex marriage is now okay in the Mainstream American psyche, but we must turn our noses up at the thought of plural marriage even though de facto polygamy is thriving in many inner city neighborhoods? The Maury Povich television show is thriving off using DNA test to expose baby daddies and make baby mamas with multiple baby daddies or unable to identity baby daddy appear as a promiscuous woman. Hence, marital and parental responsibilities are the underpinning America’s strength suggesting that it is time to eliminate the age of the player to preserve the long term health of the United States of America.
